Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93016 -1085
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
93016- 1
At the local level, life works like this:
The orchestra is told that the piece is written in E-flat, and then it is conducted in A.
What a wondrous symphony is man, heard from a distance;
A singular variety and combination of sounds,
With the individual players all believing they have lost their place.
93016-2
Conversation:
“Some things are better left unsaid.
“You mean like ANYthing worthWHILE?!”
End Of Conversation.
93016- 3
For a non-aligned-mind —
An idea made complex enough, becomes sufficiently simple.
3016- -4
One man imagined a line passing just above his brain stem,
And the part below he called, “D.H.,” and the part above, “D.M.” – De Herd, and De Man.
93016- 5
Men who don’t know how to think — (or just don’t want to think about it) will worry over their health,
their looks,
what they eat,
what they wear,
their finances and social position,
and all of the other truly important matters in life.
93016-6
Forget what they say! — people “on a budget” don’t REALLY care.
93016- 7
Soon after men began to talk, they invented the idea of fiction,
Because other men wouldn’t say what they wanted them to say.
(After that—it was a short step to the notion of gods, collective morality, and stuff like that.)
93016-8
Referring to external travel instructions saves most men from having to go somewhere.
“Say, Dwayne, did he say ‘SAVES’ men from having to actually go somewhere?” “Yes, Burt, but he might have meant ‘KEEPS’ men.”
“Oh.”
93016- 9
For a real thinker — there IS no source of authority greater than his own mind.
93016 -10
Through our genes, do our ancestors call out to us— and, by his mind, does a thinker turn off his hearing aid.
The dead have much to teach us—-(such as, I guess, like, how to be dead.)
From one reasonable, local-view —
Only the “future” would really have anything of value to say to man — and it’s not talking. (Of course — since when has anything having to do with the “reasonable” been of any interest to a real thinker.)
93016-11
No matter what exciting music the Available Info Band plays, collective intelligence does the waltz.
93016-12
Any time you’re feeling REAL cocky and self-flattered, try this:
Go out to a cemetery and try whistling some Rossini with a mouth full of peanuts while reading Diogenes in the original Greek.
If this still doesn’t get the job done,
Then stop the first passerby and ask him:
“Sir — do I look as important to you as I do to ME?”
Moral: A humble thinker talks too much.
(That is — he obviously talks too much or how else would you know he was humble?!)
And now we must once again leave that wondrous world in which nothing seems to make a lot of sense,
Except to a few people here-and-there who don’t seem to care whether it does or not — Scott.
Moral Number Two: A responsible thinker “knows when to stop”; and a truly responsible one never DOES.
Morality: Chopped liver without the liver.
93016-14
Pondered now, one man:
“Which is the more frightening:
The possibility that other people ARE serious in what they say they believe? Or the fact that I continually lapse into believing that they are?”
One man had a private motto: “Ye shall know the fear, and the fear shall set you free.”
93016 -15
Men with little bitty brains will go to really big pains.
Life loves-s-s a “cheerful-giver” — and at times when it doesn’t — it slays them.
93016-16
The stability and value of the stock that life has placed in man must be maintained; thus does the welfare of the collective always come before that of an individual, and “thus-tripled,” does a non-partisan thinker abandon any imaginary concerns about how “unfair” life is.
* Regarding “Affairs Collective”: A sensitive man is a stupid man. *
93016-17
Men whose mission it is to “help you” are there because they can’t help themselves.
93016-18
Everybody is born into the first Promised Land,
And soon thereafter, it seems to lose most of its promise.
“Help!” cried a thinker, “I’m drowning in a calm, bland, sea of sameness. Help!”
93016-19
Another way the herd stays together is that most cows don’t believe they could survive without it.
If forced — even a wolf can live alone — but never, an ordinary man’s mind.
93016 -20
An independent, “intellectual artist” is sort of like an imaginary man who can be mad without being angry —
Be pissed without there being anything “personal” about it.
…and “right-sight — what a blight” — right on cue, the philistines whined: “You KNOW-W-W we don’t ‘get-it’!”
…(Don’t you just LOVE-E-E the ole philistines and critics! -Aren’t you ALL-L-L so in support of the various.,
“12 Steps To Self-Love & Appreciation” programs?
…[Of course aren’t you REALLY-Y-Y glad that there’s no money riding on the possibility of whether you’ll be able to put all of this together within the brief time allotted to you.])
93016-21
A man with, “something to hide”–ain’t got shit to hide.
93016-22
Part of being part of the collective intelligence is in looking outward for direction.
93016- 23
One man asked his mind:
“What could be worse than being part of the collective intelligence?” And his ole brain bud replied:
“SAY-Y-Y, this is a ‘trick-question,’ right?’
93016 -24
The closer you live to your pants the more you need civilization,
encouragement,
flagellation,
and all other benefits of collective intelligence’s institutions.
* Put short: A civilized man doesn’t NEED civilization.
93016-25
Everybody pays somebody to be their friend.
93016-26
Animals don’t have friends —
Only more-or-less dominant or submissive pack mates;
And such is one of the differences between man and other beasts.
“Say, Dwayne, does he mean because men do have friends,
Or because they’re the only creatures that’ll pay somebody to be one?”
“Tell you the truth, Burt, I’m not really sure;
I guess, in fact, he could’ve meant that men are the onliest ones who’ll TALK about it.”
“Uh oh., Dwayne.”
Thus, we bid adieu to Burt and Dwayne as they further ruminate on that newly presented Law Of Energy Availability And Efficient Transfer Thereof: “Everybody pays somebody to be their friend.”
Adieu.
93016 27
Due to certain local phenomena such as, spills, bleed-throughs, and osmosis, the close proximity of the limbic system to the cortex
Has led it to believe that it can think.
93016-28
A machine that won’t make you mad ain’t much of a damn machine.
93016-29
A man once thought:
“I begin to find it interesting that the
Gods only speak to me through hormones — and never, neurons.”
93016 -30
Follow up to a recent story we covered:
It has not only been discovered that the “root of all human problems is roots.” — but, it has further been determined that the cause of all human roots is the human mind.
Circular intellects find it difficult to imagine that the carver of the tails on the merry go round horses Is also the one who planed their heads.
93016-31
Men got the idea for bulimia by observing the operations of collective intelligence.
93016-32
In hot, active neural combat,
Seamstresses, hair stylists and pastry cooks
Have little cause to come to the front lines and get their hands all dirty.
That’s why — in the rear — life has established for man his many institutions.
“I say, Henrietta, I do believe that I’ll just stay-home today.”
“Oh – that’s nice Dear — that’s what you’ve said for the last fifty years.”
“I say! — has it really been so swift as that? “
“Sergeant, blow that ‘bugle-thing’ of yours,
And tell ’em to drag all those fainted civilians OFF the playing field again.”
“Sir!“
93016-33
Fact From a Near-By Foxhole:
Real thinking is not a form of warfare, or conflict–
But it’s hard to get a cow’s attention unless you first frighten him with tales of Chicago, then tell him that that’s just where he’s headed thanks to certain nefarious conspirators, against whom he should begin to struggle:
A man who intellectually quits being mere cattle,
Quickly sees through this charade,
Gets off the Tenderloin Express —
Ceases to answer to the name of, “Bessie,”
And then gets down to a truly interesting activity —
One worthy of a man — Individual Thinking.
93016 -3 4
Seven days a week — twenty-four hours a day — Life keeps a “trap-door” open for everybody.
…(Hey! — ‘come-on’ all you grousers and sour-pusses! Let’s hear it for life!)
93016–35
In protest of “man’s inhumanity to man,”
One guy decided to continue shop-lifting and screwing his wife’s sister.
93016-36
To the sluggish-minded — a well-placed modifier can make all the difference in the world.
…(Long pause….)
For instance: In that last item regarding the man’s funny form of protest —
Ordinary ears could accept it better had it read:
“In MORAL protest of ‘man’s inhumanity to man'”…etc. —
Such, (amongst collective thinking),
Is the liberating power of irony and sarcasm.
93016 -37
One man had a private mantra that he would sometimes remember,
And which sometimes helped him — (he thought) —
It said: “As further evidence regarding the limitations of sequential thinking, note:
If eighty pounds of shit WOULDN’T fit in a fifty pound bag — WE wouldn’t BE HERE.
93016-38
Believing that you’re MORE concerned about “others” is always a most excellent explanation.
“Hey, Dwayne…”
“Yeah?”
“I’m not even gonna bother to ask if you think he meant ‘excuse’ rather than explanation?.”
93016-39
Feeling guilt is proof you’re still in Eden’s original garden.
93016-40
A hippo who ran do head-stands is still just a hippo —
But a man who can think independently is no longer just a man.
93016-41
Ignorance is not-the-end-of, NOR does-it-prove — anything!
(“Well, thank god!” said a whole bunch of living people, mentally holding hands.)
The problem is not in the first dancer in a genetic conga line being knocked down, but rather what it can do to all the others holding on to his tail.
93016-42
“Those not fooled by ‘bad news’ sure ain’t fooled by the good kind.”
This item was submitted by one of the new stringers for the City’s wire service. …Oh, I’m sorry, I’ve just been told he’s just been fired.
93016-43
One available and frequently used egress:
The slow-witted can always act pious, and see what happens. ??
93016-44
Part of one man’s being got all shriveled up, and he said:
“I don’t care — because I can stimulate it back to life A-N-Y time I want to!”
And the other end of his body — I mean, being thought: “I sure hope he’s talking about ME!’
93016 -4 5
As regards the REAL, “Intellectual Olympics”:
A runner who believes it is necessary — if not just “sportsman-like” to begin his sprint from a specific starting line,
Is one of the following:
Either a potential contender in some other games — OR a loser and a chowder-head in these.
* Reason triumphs only in “reasonable games”! — and truth be told,
Few in this stadium are thoroughly convinced that they’ve actually ever witnessed such a contest. *
– –
It takes an unsponsored, “free-agent” intellect to see that the scores run up in the game are as much determined by the spectators in the stands as by the players on the field
93016-46
And now — our Proverb For De Day:
Those who mold their minds on the thoughts of others will surely have moldy minds.
De End,
93016-47
With many men,
Humility is the vest in a three-piece suit of physical fear and mental uncertainty.
93016-48
From the neck down, many men are cowards — from the neck UP, all cows are.
93016-49
Drunks: People too cheap to go to church.
(Note: You “lovers-of-the-grape” may reverse this definition.)
93016 –5 0
As regards those every day, “human emotions” — men who feel them are cows.
93016-51
The vital only snort in private.
93016-52
A cow in a herd
Is a cow, is a cow.
A man in a crowd
Is a cow, is a cow.
93016-53
When “times are tough” — genes always want their mama;
A real thinker wants to know: “Who in the world ever came up with the idea of, ‘tough times ‘?!’
93016-54
Having a “sacred purpose” in life
Has spared many a man the effort of actually having to HAVE a life.
(Local reality told one man that even IT could appreciate
A “well-placed zinger” every now and then — [as long as it was kept just between them two.])
Editor’s Note: The title of this page,
Which some hand had attempted to mark out, but which is still legible, was originally:
“Don’t You Wish? — I Know I Do.”
93016 -5 5
Collective intelligence: The Top Forty of thinking.
93016-56
A man who’ll tell you how he feels doesn’t feel good.
93016–57
In private — one man would “give himself hell!’ -‘Til one day he said: “How the hell’d you get in here?!”
The serpentine one gazed around him,
Taking in just how much the local fauna had begun to grow and change, and slowly said: “Well-l-l, I think maybe I’ll just head on south for the winter
where at least the flora conditions are a bit more stable.”
93016-58
It does little good to roll up your britches,
And call out to your brother-in-law the plumber for help If the shit you’re wadin’ through is risin’ up
Just above cerebral floor-level inside your own head.
93016-69
If there was a valid, operational reality to the notion of humility, it would lie in willful obliviousness.
93016–60
One man used to see things — but doesn’t anymore;
He says he doesn’t know whether this is progress or not.
93016-61
There IS no new news from the hormonal front! —
Only the same old, “old stuff,” all re-wrote, as usual.
93016-62
The Ultimate Thinker’s Game: Playing, “Follow-The-Leader” with yourself.
Myth For the Day:
There was once a cow who tried to trick all the other cows by telling them that
The only way to live a satisfyingly, bovine life was to learn how to, “Moo for yourself,”
And that HE was the only one capable of teaching them how, so that they had better, collectively — HEED HIS WORDS!
Myth For After Midnight:
There was once a small group of men who were able to hear the above story, and realize that it was actually two tales in one.
(And a small number within that number suspected it might be three!)
* A man who has no individual self damn-sure can’t follow himself. *
93016-63
Life has tried almost EVERYTHING on man, at one time or the other. And they ALL worked!
…(If there was ROOM in this universe — and if it actually MEANT anything —
I would suggest that we all stand and give-life-a-hand.)
93016-64
Whenever other people would offer him their ideas this one man would reply:
“No thank you. I’m just passing though.”
We could all learn something from “words-on-paper”
—
Unfortunately we have run out of space here for me to go into it any further at this time..
93016-65
The dense can afford EVERY-Y-Y thing.
…(Well — hey, so can thinkers! They just don’t talk about it!)
93016-66
Fact: Carrying wild animals in your underwear is NO job for amateurs. Fact: EVERY one is an amateur.
Off The Books Fact: A real thinker don’t wear no underwear;
You were all born wearing one stifling garment — — why exacerbate the situation!
At this, one man began to see the connection between his brain and his mind;
And began to realize the effect vegetables and sun spots had on his thinking;
And began to recognize the need for trains to run on time, and to be late.
He decided to become an “undercover agent” FOR himself. (Concluded he: “Who BETTER to spy-on,
deceive, and finally deliver me?!”)
93016-67
Genes have the unique ability to make hormones believe that thoughts ARE the single example of a process that can safely — if not even, profitably — move backwards.
93016-68
One man decided to make a list to finally wrap-up all that he knew regarding “serious people.” Thus, he began:
“A serious man is a normal man.
A serious man is a happy man.
A serious man is an insightful man.
A serious man is a deranged man.
A serious man is a dangerous man.” — And along about there, he fell asleep.
93016-69
Amongst the collective an artist can be a rebel — Hell, “can be,” Hell! –
That’s about the only way he’ll ever get noticed. Now — as concerns the independent thinkers:
You can never spot the artist among them–’cause they’re ALL ONE.
93016-70
There IS no “short-cut” to stupidity.
93016-71
Men rolling over the edge of a cliff in their best car
Don’t like to be told about a “special” that’s available on brake work …Which is why they wouldn’t listen about it even last week.
A parable that appears to have death somewhere in it
Always stands a better chance of becoming popular and getting asked to the dance.
93016-72
Once men realized just how dumb they were,
They wanted to start spelling “man” with a capital “M.”
93016-72B
One man said to life:
“Give me the bad news first.”
And life replied: “Hey – you GOT IT!”
93016-73
Masturbation is to “visual rape” as pondering the thoughts of others is to real thinking.
93016-75
Examples are to point-blank-reality as personal anecdotes are to actually having-a-life.
93016-76
If you learn how to think apart —
The meaning of the term, “end of the line” LOSES all meaning.
93016-77
How men came up with the idea that they needed leaders:
A cow in possession of a gratuitous expense account will agree to take Anybody Anywhere they want to go! — What difference is it to him?!
93016-78
The man told the kid with the pole: “The best fishin’s in your head.”
An ordinary mind thusly responds:
“Here is another example of how the inclusion of a fit modifier could make an idea more palatable, if not meaningful — to wit: If you had the man say: ‘The best fishin’s in your OWN head,’ rather than just in ‘your head.’
I trust you see my point.”
Sir, “see it” — I do indeed.
It is useful to periodically remember how much difference it can make to routine thinking if you will but
Shift the emphasis of an idea from the individual
Over to the collective and less specific;
After all, what is the true purpose of conditions, exceptions, examples, rules, anomalies, modifiers and other ornamentations, if not to move one step even FURTHER from that harsh, point-blank wall?!
* Hey, kid, hurry on over! — They a’really bitin’ today! *
93016-79
Men have “personal body functions” just so they’ll think there’s at least SOMETHING
that’s personal about them.
The most fright an animal can know is the unknown; the same is true for man, but intellectually; thus, is man collectively kept moving.
93016-81.
Men most enjoy an imaginary party when they don’t know that it is imaginary.
(One man tried to imagine why this was?!)…
93016-82
As he looked out on the cerebral life of the seven hills, a certain man mused:
“If the plebeian intellectus populus does accurately reflect man’s full mental potential then, intellectually, what I attempt, compared to their collective version, is as Brutus is politically to democratic change.”
93016-83
A man with no allegiances can get a job in the zoo;
Hell, — keep his mouth shut a few days, and he can be runnin’ the place!
93016-84
A parent told its child:
“A timid, uncertain mind is a commendable mind.”
And the child asked: “Why did you tell me that?”
And the parent replied: “Life made me.”
93016-85
In truth — Good thoughts are a dime-a-dozen —
But only noncombatant thinkers have any spare pocket change.
93016-86
Life sings — but most men believe their minds pick up only “talk radio.”
One day life said: “If man didn’t exist — I’d have to invent him.”
And some men said: “Hey, you stole that from us!”
93016-88
One day a mighty eagle glued some men to its wings in hopes it might thereby be able to think.
Moral: It is difficult for local minds to see how it could be possible, in Fable Land, to take off one’s coat and turn it inside out.
Moral Moral: Local thinking cannot even suspect a correlation between their minds and their mackinaws.
Moral Moral Moral: It is precisely this lack of personal mental ability
That necessitates the need for fables in the first fuckin’ place.
93016-89
People who enjoy discussing their hormonal-based thinking, seldom get around to discovering thinking-based thinking.
93016-90
Trying to figure out what people think based on the way they act
Is like attempting to grasp the concept of gravity by watching objects fall.
The great thing about important information that nobody can understand is that it leaves so much more for the rest of us.
93016-91
I have seen the future of man and it is not – regardless of what the collective believes, it is not the past.
93016-92
Only the dead “can’t sing,” them, and the living who don’t believe that they are.
93016-93
What the collective calls “chaos” and “uncertainty is a cube with one side removed.
93016-94
Your Choice: You can either eat-the-past or be et thereby.
93016-95
He recorded for a label that had no name.
Doing only songs that no one wrote;
Appearing as the artist who was not there,
broadcasting music that ate the air.
930 1 6 – 9 6
Later on– down the road,
When it came time next to “choose up sides,”
This one man picked himself — then sang.