If You Are Not Serious, You Are Irrelevant in the City
Audio = Stream from the bar; download from the dots
12/21/1992
Summary = None
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 92145 -1065
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
Copyright 1992 J. M. Cox 92145- [1065]
..and Kyroot said:
…and Kyroot said: As truth behind words — walls hide
behind paint…behind misdirection, but most over — behind
themselves.
***
…and Kyroot noted: Philosophies and theories to no avail:
If you man an ordinary mental position, you must always be
defending it. * Dumb people fire dense bullets so that idiots
will have some reason to duck. *
***
One man says he calls his brain his, “nose whistle” — he
says he doesn’t know why he does this, and he says he doesn’t
care.
***
Then Kyroot took us again on, “Proverbs A’ Revisited”:
Creative minds are dense but once, while the philistine’s
succumbs a thousand times.
***
…and Kyroot, that keen eyed observer of all things
secondary, said: Conclusions were the original inspiration for
impotency. (“Help! — I’ve come to the end of an idea and I
can’t seem to get-it-up!”)
***
And a Kyrootian medical intern left this message: Do note:
Only seriousness can drive you crazy.
***
…and from Kyroot: Directions for This Monday: If you
believe that you can “save up” to be a hermit — you aren’t even
close. Okay! — a viewer asks: “Is anybody close?” — And with
some show of feigned regret Kyroot replies: “No — but hey,
don’t let that bother you.”
***
…and Kyroot inquired: Who but dogs and men will attempt
to eat while sick. …(and Kyroot asked for verification: I
assume you refer to more than physical food.)
***
There is a fine line separating everything from everything
else; so fine, in fact, that it exists only in man’s mind.
***
The ole man told the kid: “Do remember that confession is
good for nothing.” When the group ran out of clay pigeons, they
began sending up proverbs.
***
Handy Household Reinvigorated Reality Check: If you’re
imitatin’ anybody –– you ain’t revolutin’!
***
Now I don’t know which of the Primary, or Secondary Waiting
Rooms you thought you stepped in, but Dr. Kyroot sends out this
message by his head nurse, just the ole same-o: Pain is pain —
but thinking can really hurt. (He says if you understand this,
you can go on home and forget about it.)
***
Two bar philosophers were a’sippin’ and a’spossin,’ and the
first one said: “There is no harm in admitting you were wrong
about something, for it shows that you are now a wiser man.” And
the second took a swaller and replied: “Yeah, that would be all
right if that were to be the last of it!” …(They both whooped
and hollered and damn near choked on their suds.)
***
Then (as requested) in “comic book form,” Kyroot presented
the “Intellectual History (sic) Of Many A Good Man & Woman”:
“Stand back! — I am armed and dangerous!” (Then to): “Stand
back! — I am dangerous.” (And finally, on to): “God, I wish I
was ‘armed and dangerous’.”
***
Serious men have much to hide.
***
Men do not so much shrink the study of the sundry items in
their closets as they do dread considering the adhesive that
operationally binds them all together. * Thus do minds pursue an
interest in stars and words at the expense of the “empty spaces”
in between. * ..(“Grandpa, is that where a rebel actually
lives?”)
***
A Short Verbal Fox trot in F: “When there is nothing much
to talk about, men will talk about themselves.” — (And the city
wide response): “Gee, there sure ain’t much to talk about.”
Note: The last-mentioned area is wherein the herd generally
feels that it is dancing and stumbling about. * Cows look for a
beacon — then many will say: “No way! — that one is too
bright!” *
***
And now for your listening pleasure, this “Variation On A
Theme By Kyroot”: Anything that can be truthfully said about
man is at least half untrue. During Intermission, several
patrons at the bar said that they didn’t get it any better the
first time round. (And Kyroot, disguised as a waiter among the
crowd winked in your direction and sotto voced: “Do you really
mean ‘didn’t get it,’ or ‘didn’t like it’?” They walked on away,
knowing that you knew the answer to that one.)
***
At “The Festival Of Stable Reality & Acceptable Change,” the
City sat at the banquet table and cried out: “Bring to me men
who are — predictable in their behavior, limited in their
agendas, and shy in the exercise of their talents; bring such men
to me, and then — gloriously, and safely shall we all feast.”
***
Another certain ole man so advised the kid: “Look at it
like this: Even if reality weren’t your ‘best friend’ it still
controls who your best friends are.” A viewer objects: “I don’t
think that much of this should actually be called, ‘advice.'”
And Kyroot replies: “Me either, but that’s still what your ears
would make of it no matter what I called it.” And surprisingly
the viewer suddenly says, “Oh.”
***
A common, natural trait among those who don’t know where
they’re going is to say: “I don’t know where I’m going.” (By
this method alone, you might care to note [added Kyroot], do city
buses continue to run.)
***
Whenever he approved of something this one man would say,
“Splen-dif-ferous,” a nonsensical, non-existent word, and yet
everyone understood what he meant. …and Kyroot suggested:
Maybe you should think about this.
***
The speaker declared: “Each man is an electrical outlet for
a gigantic cosmic dynamo!” And a man in the crowd screamed: “My
god! — I’ve blown a fuse!”
***
The Two Guys were talking and one of them said: “Once coin
collectors are well armed, philatelists will begin to suffer
weapons hunger.” And number two guy said: “Is that an out
growth of older territorial defensive drives?” And the first one
replied: “Yes, that, and the fact that this is how the newer
secondary world naturally expands itself.” …(They both
puckered up their lips in a display of mental satisfaction as
they once again marveled at the efficiency by which life, through
man, is simultaneously what it “once-and-first-is,” along with
what it “next-and-forever-will-be.”) * Man: The only land where
sunset and daybreak occur coevally. *
***
Pardon us now while we take time for our “Serious Question
Of The Hour”: What is the greatest fear of intelligent men?
That they will discover the truth regarding the power of heredity
on their lives.
***
The Royal Priest (who was not actually the Official Royal
Priest) so addressed the Court: “In the eternal warfare — if
indeed such exists — in which man is the battlefield, the
struggle is between the two mighty armies of Stupidity and
Idiocy.” …(He didn’t stick around to take up a collection.)
…..and Kyroot noted: The “religious,” by turning their
attention to the idea of a creator, are thus freed from much
concern regarding creation. …(One of the king’s guards by a
side entrance was suddenly struck with the possibility that the
final great struggle might be between nouns and verbs!)
…..then Kyroot added: According to the Mystic Records of this
one past reality, on their final Day of Reckoning, just to keep
things fresh and unpredictable right up to the end, a mighty
voice rang out through the universe: “All of those in two-tone
shoes are first-in-line.” …(And one of His Grace’s personal
pages suddenly wondered: “Is it to be that the ‘ultimate sin’
will turn out to be a lapse in good taste?!”)
***
A certain rebel reflector one day sat and so reflected:
When I began, I saw my mind as a pool, busied by ripples that
were caused by random stones tossed therein by others; then as I
progressed, I began to perceive the stones that produced the
discontent as being products of my own handiwork; but now, as I
picture my intellect as that small pool, I see fresh thinking as
a tremendous boulder which I constantly hoist above my head as I
shout out the warning to the waters below: “Look out, you
mutherfuckers — here it comes!” …(“No, Jimmy,” said the ole
man, “you cannot put him on the back of your bicycle.”)
***
The speaker declared: “Every dog has his day!” And a man
in the crowd screamed: “My god! — my calendar watch has turned
rabid!”
***
As he looked toward his hometown of the city, a man
pondered: “Which is the more untasty and least genteel over
there: To have something unsavory to hide, or to have to conceal
the fact that you have nothing to hide?!” “Yes,” injected Dr. X,
“Civilization is a funny business — not of course, ‘funny’ in
the sense that there is anything at all amusing about it, you
know — just, ‘funny.'”
…..and Kyroot accounted: Man’s mind and its secondary maps:
The source and materials whereby deadly acts become merely
“serious business.”
***
…then Kyroot (with his trusty tongue) verbally sketched
this picture: Man’s ordinary mind trying to comprehend itself is
like a spider web saying: “What the hell is holding this all
together?!” * For a clown or magician to properly entertain they
must first make the audience accept the seriousness of the
undertaking. * (And Kyroot P.S-ed: Any viewer who yet thinks
that there is a difference between a clown and a magician
shouldn’t bother to write to me at this time.)
***
For his birthday one smart alack intellectual said: “I’ll
tell you what I’d like: A lack of complimentary expressions
regarding my intelligence from the dunderheads of the world.”
And the dunderheads said — “Hey — don’t you worry about that!”
***
A seditious sarge told a young potato peeler over by the
k.p. tree: “In ordinary society consistency is considered true
evidence of one’s civility, while in rebel society — what the
hell am I saying! — there is no ‘rebel society’!”
***
Men with normal, balanced mental capacities cannot even
conceive of the game without the concept of “taking sides.”
“Pop, how can you find the Rebel Sport Section in the paper?”
“That’s easy my boy — just look for the Box Scores that have no
scores.” In the city — at street level — mental roads that
reach a destination are not only deemed proper, but are the ones
awarded prizes and recognition; in rebel areas, neural travel is
a bit more complex and interesting.
***
The speaker declared: “What goes up must come down.” And a
man in the crowd screamed: “My god! — they’ve shot Newton.”
***
In one city, gender title was based thusly: You were
technically called a “man” if you were the “penetrating partner”
regardless of who you penetrated; and upon hearing of this one
man’s brain said: “That’s it! — I’m leaving.”
***
…and Kyroot set out what might could be a “Rebel Condo’s
Secret Battle Cry”: Turn up the music — and stoke up the
furnaces so that the penthouse library might always cook.
…(Not intending to discount those unidentifiable “Hermit
Revolutionists” who usually don’t live where they reside.)
***
…and Kyroot konfessed (admitted, even): The tart taken
from lemons — lockjaw removed from nails — such would be some
people’s lives, if therein, revolutionist ideas ever encroached.
…(“Ohhh! — god help us,” the poor people cried, and the god
said: “Hey, I didn’t tell you people to ever think like that in
the first place.”)
***
An attentive viewer says: “Have you actually begun to talk
about how things really are rather than just about how men think
they are, while I wasn’t noticing?!” (Said correspondent also
adds: “If I was really as sharp as you insinuated, I would
object to you using an adjective to describe me.”) …and Kyroot
said: “Okay, did all of you fresh, young neurons take that
down?!”…
***
The speaker declared: “What goes around comes around.” And
a man in the crowd screamed: “My god! — the lead horsies have
dry rot!”
***
One ole man described to the kid that, “Heroes are like a
stop-gap measure for minds to fill in the momentary blank spots
in the ongoing sequence of reality. All in all, they’re hastily
drawn figures a man’s intellectual opaque projector will flash on
the screen when his travel slides seem to have temporarily run
out.”
***
The unseated correlation between “important” and “serious”
marks the line of distinction between ordinary thinking and the
real thing.
***
A chap at the corner of Sixth and International Blvd. was
publicly pronouncing: “A simple life is a pleasurable life.”
And a fellow passing by suddenly stopped and exclaimed: “Then,
my god! — I’ve got to be the happiest man alive!” …(Several
people standing nearby somehow doubted the sincerity of the
comment.) * Moral: Loiterers can spell trouble. *
***
…and Kyroot The Counselor (sic, and, Ha!) said: Only two
— that’s right! — two, only two kinds of people believe that
they can “outsmart themselves”: Dumbos, and rebel dumbos.
…(That was two, wasn’t it?!…)
***
In king’s court, God’s country, and all other civilized
environs: Thinking what others think is the most sincere form of
sincerity. Some renegade neurons said: “So that’s why we never
get anywhere!” And some more settled ones replied: “Quite
contraire — that’s precisely how we have gotten anywhere.”
(But the outlaws still didn’t like it…[Which I guess, is why
they are outsiders].) Stand back! — make room! — “Definition-
On-A-Hog” coming through: Original thinking: Individual
achievement with no necessary visible reflection.
***
A mother told the kid: “No mind — no conscience; no mind
— no chance.”
***
While his dog was out of the room, one man gave himself a
“good talking to,” thusly: “The sooner the better that you can
get firmly set in your mind the undeniable, though slippery, fact
that every single thing men say, present and propose, is a form of
absolute ‘show business’; they continually ask one another and
large audiences to ‘dance with my ideas,’ while hopefully
swooning also at my handsomeness.” (Lord Byron-The-Lab then
stepped back into the room, and the man discontinued his efforts
for the day.)
***
Let me put it to you like this (said Kyroot to a visiting
magazine article), non-magnetic revolutionist thinking is like
atom smashing for the mind.
***
Then Kyroot dished out one of those kinds of things that may-
or-may not be as potentially possible-or-not as it may at first
sound: About the only way the truly talented and original can
get work in the city is for their talent to be at least slightly
misconstrued. (“Woo!”, said one guy, “I’d get out of town — if
it’d do any good.” …Wooo, Y’all and y’all.)
***
And now this great new break-through “slogan” from the ad
desk of Kyroot & Kyroot: “Repetitive thought: The heart-beat of
the secondary world.”
***
You guys might enjoy hearing this one; it’s the Creation
Myth from that galaxy just up front there, over to your right.
It says that immediately after the local reality-cum-god had
created the first creatures it told them “The Secret,” and within
a short period of time the creatures said: “Hey, now tell us
what The Secret means.” And the god shook his head negatively,
replying: “No, you know too much already.”
…..meanwhile, over at Space Base Seven, out on the stardust
playground, some little nippers skipped and sang:
“The secret’s in the blood,
The secret’s in the air;
I would have gone ahead and said,
The secret’s everywhere…
Except that’s too predictable, eh what!”
Shortly thereafter, The Fleet Commander ordered: “Get those
little fuckers outta here.”
***
Then, through the efforts of our “In-House News Item Network
& Desk-Top Piddling Operation,” someone who signed their
submission with just the letter, “K.,” says: Being of a rebel
mind and having a rebel friend can be more fun than riding the
rails in Alaska during January in your underwear. It’s reported
that in some revolutionist publications nothing is accepted that
contains the word, “can.” …(Can you understand what that
infers?)
***
One guy told himself: “Well ole sport, you know you’re back
home when being a pea brain is no disadvantage.” A viewer
writes: “I know for a fact — (having seen my X-rays) — that my
brain itself is larger than a pea; does this exempt me from your
classification of ‘pea brains’?”
***
A lady writes: “Dear Advice Doctor: Is ‘old age’ a fitting
death for a revolutionist?” Dear Madame: Do you mean
physically, or otherwise?
***
The Weird Lobby continues to insist: “It does too count! —
Being weird does count!”
***
In the “fairness of the city” — (in fact, damn near
approaching transcendental fairness) — being a peckerhead is no
bar to becoming a super peckerhead. …(Dig it if you can! —
Smoke if you got ’em! — Write if you get work! And brush after
each flush.)
***
Then, as your hungry eyes met his over the cheese, bearing
the holes of ever-increasing magnitude, Kyroot whispered: “So,
it is more non-menu descriptions you want — so — then consider
that the unsponsored neural expedition is the difficulty in
promoting a product that is not for sale.” * In civilized
jurisdictions, few diners who sit down for nouns find favor in
being served processes. *
***
More Verbal Circus Lore from A Rebel’s World: Reality: A
tightrope too funny not to be taken seriously. And making his
ears light up, Bozo the Bozo said: “I do so trust that you
grasped the ramifications of this, ewe’all.”
***
Someone in our hearing range ponders just for a moment:
“You know, if you could somehow get by with it, you could
conclude that anybody who takes anything other than strictly
primary matters seriously is an idiot.” (He quickly regained his
normal composure.)
***
And later that day, Kyroot brought up a “Post-Creation Myth”
from yet another solar system: The local god got the thinking
creatures started out by giving them “The Secret” in five words,
and once they’d learned to chew on it real good, and wanted a
condensed version, he changed it to a ten-word description.
***
A viewer says: “Okay: I’ve listened to you talk, and I’ve
listened to the Kyroots, and I just want to tell you — Don’t try
and cheer me up!”
***
For your holiday buffet, these Kyrootian, “Words to live
by”: A content man is a dead man.
***
The Subversive Show Business Directory lists a “Neural
Rebel” as: An act with no audience.
***
To help keep things at a “hair-triggered-edge,” whenever he
was at home alone, or anywhere else like that, this one guy’d
wear a mental see-through-blouse. And thus spaketh some of the
more exotic, young neurons: “If you can’t, or don’t stimulate
yourself — then what’re gonna expect from others!”
***
The Four-Star General in charge of the elevator informs you
all: “Where the brain runs into the body, seems to be the area
of greatest confusion to man.” …(Later over drinks he added:
“Well, that and when the cable breaks.”)
***
Re: The Matters of Pride, Beauty and Conceit: Secondary
matters can apparently be improved only through secondary means.
***
And The Ole Park Proverbalist proposes thusly: “The guilty
tremble at the sight of the law — the stupid, at mirrors.” (And
Kyroot noted: Should not we all shake to consider what should
frighten a revolutionist!)
***
One man became a mere reflection of what he once was — (he
says it’s still too much!)
***
To help further elucidate the matter, Thomas Alva Kyroot
said: When brains can bleed — then will secondary matters be
serious.
***
Looking deep and far away, a man on a hill pondered:
“Perchance, an ultimate triumph of chaos and chance will be the
supreme establishment of order.”
***
The Interstate Highway System was unconsciously fashioned
after the human nervous system, with truck stops, rest rooms,
roadside parks, and information stations being a natural after-
thought. (“Hey man!”, said one guy to himself, “If you’re ‘gonna
go’ –– go first class! — go by ‘me.'”)
***
At one time, rebels tried to move their goo field further
away from the roadhouse of emotions.
***
Near the beginning of a new week, one young firebrand
thought: “Sometimes being of a revolutionist turn-of-mind is
like being an escapee from a mental institution on a planet that
has no concept of sanity.”
***
…and a stat note from Kyroot: For every ten people who
enjoy hearing revolutionist ideas — less than ten really do!
Someone in the audience says: “I thought you were going to say
something else.”
***
“Okay, gang,” said the substitute teacher, “‘til the rain
lets up we’ll play an indoor game; what is one danger to a
revolutionist?…That’s right! That his efforts get too-o-o
close to that naughty old ‘s’-word.”
***
Answers are easy to come by — plain, blank, revealing walls
are another matter.
***
…and from the lecture hall of Kyroot: “More of How
Genetics And Other Almost Real Things Work”: Children are the
low-man on everybody’s totem pole…except for the next one
coming up. Now for the, “After-Class Version”: All games are
won by kids.
***
…then, just for fun, Kyroot said: The secret actually put
in words would be like a snake that bites off its own head before
it can ever speak.
***
As this one neural imbiber grew increasingly sophisticated
in his social and mental tastes, he began to enjoy his drinks
more mixed and complex, and his thinking more, “Straight, no
chaser.”
***
Then once, some outlaws in the roadhouse, after considering
what was going on with those in the basement, and in light of
what some were trying to do out in the goo field, simply turned
and said: “Put another quarter in the jukebox.”