Proverbs Protect the Weak, Truisms Help Hide the Truth
Audio = Stream from the bar; download from the dots
12/16/1992
Summary = See Below
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 92143 -1063
Transcript = None
Key Words =
Summary
#1063 Dec 16, 1992 – 1:00
Notes by TK
Kyroot to :33. Proverbs protect the weak; maxims minimize uncertainty; truisms help hide the truth.
Air : balloon :: seriousness : civilization.
The News
When man began to speak — the world came into being.
(Shortly thereafter, it seemed to start disintegrating.)
***
The dense have a defense — they can believe.
***
One man made fun of his ancestors — (explains he): “You
should’ve seen what they did to me!”
***
And Kyroot, your neural landscape artist, said: In that
everyone is born mentally with a dead-horse-to-beat, life is fair
in that it naturally provides you with your own dead horse.
***
And Kyroot offered another example of, “How Things Could
Work If They Actually Did Work Like Men Believe They Work”: As
his hair line receded — this one man just moved closer to where
he lived. A man up front stood to say: “Stupidity plays no
favorites.” and immediately a man arose in the rear to
contradict this.
***
A man grouses: “They just made up ‘alphabetical order’ so
that some of us would have to be last in line!”
…and Kyroot added: How do you think such a man would
similarly interpret the sequential nature of commonly perceived
time?! — And don’t think he couldn’t.
…and Kyroot koncluded: Take a number and wait.
***
A man writes to the Building Inspector: “The people who
live downstairs from me are extremely vain!”
…..later, that same chap wrote the office again: “And the
people upstairs are not near-r-r as smart as they think they
are!”
***
A man went to a bookstore and bought a biography. He later
threw it down and said: “Phooey! — mirrors are cheaper, and lie
better.”
A viewer writes: “Would it not have been more piercing,
pertinent and stinging to ordinary men if you had said he bought
an auto-biography instead of just a biography?!” And Kyroot
threw the letter down and said: “Anti-Phooey! — Everything’s
cheaper than this!”
***
…and Kyroot noted: After the people became aware of how
poorly their god spelled, his words lost much of their initial
impact.
***
On a scientific scale — the weak refer to themselves more
than anyone else. (And also: Everyone refers to themselves just
as much as is necessary — [it’s just not as necessary that often
with a man who can think for himself].)
***
When it was absolutely determined that there were no raisins
for the oatmeal, the rebel sarge gave these words to the
breakfast recruits: “When you’re born, life sticks a cheap
billfold in everyone’s back pocket, and in the billfold is a
cheaply reproduced photograph of yourself, and it’s up to a
revolutionist to discover all of this for himself, and after he
does……well, I suspect you can guess what he does from there!”
***
When one man first took drugs and they got to his brain, his
neurons’ initial reaction was to laugh.
***
And from the mouth of Kyroot, this Urban Lullaby: Whenever
it’d rain, this one man would get the blues. He says his goal
now is to save up enough to buy his own rain machine.
And now for, “Kyroot’s 12 Step Recovery Program In One
Fuckin’ Step”: Those who talk about sickness don’t really want
to get well.
***
Once upon a time — sometimes — a lot of momentary times
— a man suddenly thought: “If there’s someone who could
‘explain life’ — do I really want to hear it?!”
***
“Dear Advice Doctor,” opens the letter, “Could men be
explained mathematically?” Dear Sir: In a word — Yes. “Then
Dear Doctor,” begins the next letter, “Could men be explained
chemically?” To be brief, Dear Sir — Yes! “Well Dear Doctor:
Why aren’t they ever?” My Good and Persistent Sir: You talk too
much. * 4th Class, Educational-Rate Moral: “One word” is
only the beginning! *
A chap near the remaining edge of the northeast muses: “Why
don’t people write to themselves like they used to?…..”
…..and Dr. Kyroot, (sans his Ophthalmologist’s Union Card),
notes: Everything turns into everything else right before
man’s eyes.
***
An ole man told the kid: “Two things happen when you get
unnecessarily serious in life: you become frightened and wet
your pants, and soil your mind.”
When he stood two feet away from his typewriter, he could
see what he was doing without his glasses; he does realize that
this remedial approach itself seems to present additional what
‘cha ma call it’s. …some months later his kid understood to
file this under the general heading of: “Being Alive — (You
Disco Darling) — Being Alive in A 3-D World!”
***
Men with little bitty agendas require only little bitty
clipboards.
…and Kyroot noted: As civilization boomed, and the city
flourished, one man achieved such greatness that his name tag
became bigger than he was.
***
Amidst sour sips of his shaken martini, one ole sorehead
leaned poetically on the bar and sloshingly soliloquized: “Life:
Those temporary interludes between attempted bouts of suicide.”
***
A viewer writes to advise: “But if you don’t pick on anyone
you’ll never get anywhere.”
…..and in an unconnected item, Kyroot noted: If life were
arranged in such a way that this was feasible and profitable,
then it would be like this, (now, wouldn’t it?!): Those dumb
enough to deserve to be “picked on” would be too dumb to notice
it anyway.
***
Okay class — settle down, time for Kyroot’s Theology 1001:
Cheap religions talk about god; less cheap ones — about
themselves. And those a bit more advanced — about how well
their followers have done thanks to the religion, and how
generously they should evidence their appreciation via their
pocketbooks.
And for the graduate students Kyroot expanded: While
ordinary minds could take the last comment as criticism — it is
no such — but rather the natural — and solitary path available
in this process to routine minds.
***
…and Kyroot noted: Fact Not Normally Talked About:
Revolutionist ideas make some people dizzy; revolutionist ideas
make everybody dizzy some times.
…and Kyroot said: Okay — now we’ve said it — now
forget about it.
***
A young boy told a tree stump: “My father taught me to
resent anyone smarter than me, and now I find myself
subconsciously disliking almost everyone in the world, without
realizing it, and without knowing why.” …(The stump shed a few
drops of sap.)
***
Everyone can have an “opinion” about himself, but a neural
hog butcher — secretly in his mind — weighs every idea he
meets.
…..and a herd–group of important, serious city guys
contacts us to say: “We strongly object to a bunch of this —
(for instance) — a man who won’t take himself seriously won’t
take anything else seriously. …And thus, by god! — do we
importantly object!”
***
As his son reached yet another, higher level of academic
achievement, his father congratulated him while mentioning also
that: “So long as you’re alive you’ve got one foot in a bucket
of slop.”
***
As the new ideas came toward him from the alleyway the man
declared: “Assault and violate my lower parts if you must, but
nay shall you disturb a single thought as rests on this gentle
brow.” * Tonight’s Encouraging Word: Life don’t get raped! *
***
And this letter: “I’ve been following your programs, and I
must say that I disagree with how important you seem to be saying
that words are. I just had to write and tell you this. Yours
Sincerely,” etc.
***
Whenever it was time for fun this one guy’d get excited;
whenever he wanted to get excited this one guy’d think it was
time for fun. * Moral: You can “hold an unusual man down,” but
when it’s all over and done-done all you can say is that you held
down an unusual man. *
** Moral-Moral: There is no Moral to fun. **
***
By over-laterally demand, another of, “Kyroot’s Inspirational
Fables For the Inspirationally Impaired”: On this one world,
during their special annual festival, one little lad wrote to
their local Deity, Gift-Giver, & All-Around-Great-Guy and asked:
“This year — can I trade in my mind for a microwave?” A viewer,
(who has not been feeling all that good off-and-on now for the
last thirty-nine years), heard this, hunkered down even lower in
his comfy chair, and thought: “If that’s ‘inspirational’ I’ll
sit in soup.”
And Kyroot, that kindly ole priest, crossed the street and
said: “The Lord loves a cheerful bitcher.”
***
There are two kinds of prejudiced travel agents: Those
who’ve never been anywhere and those who have.
…Okay, (said Kyroot), I’ll tell you what’s left, and how
it applies to you, (to wit): A rebel doesn’t seek specious
advice.
***
Proverbs protect the weak.
…..Maxims minimize uncertainty.
…..then Kyroot konkluded: And truisms help hide the truth.
***
The Director of Sidewalk Science informed the early morning
passersby: “Each man is born on his own home team, wearing a
numbered jersey, whose number is so initially faint that everyone
can say: ‘I don’t have a number,’ and thus does play commence
and continue.”
***
Then Kyroot konfidentially revealed many a man’s secret cry
of relief: “Well, I may be ‘down-&-out’ — but at least I’m not
just down!” And Kyroot, (for his own faux birthday), said that
if you “got” this one — and nodded along agreeably — please-e-e
don’t write him.
…..”My, my! — Yes, yes!” nodded an agreeable ole sorehead:
“There’re two great things about being alive: One is that you
know you’re gonna die, and the other is that even while you’re
here you can be just as pissed as you wanna be!”
…..a viewer writes: “When I first started watching your show
I had lower back pains — I still do. Yours,” etc.
***
The “Defiant’s Defining Delivery Service” left this for you
while you were up-&-out: A man’s personally-recount-able-history-
of-himself: A mooring line safely securing a solid lead
submarine to the shore.
***
One of the city wise-men, in city park, addressed the city
crowd with these words: “The beginning of all wisdom is
sarcasm.” And a gent raised his hand and asked: “So that would
make the conclusion, what?” And the speaker replied: “More
sarcasm.”
***
The rebel mind is like a blow torch, but without the
perceived aggression and danger.
***
After school, an ole man told the kid: “Let me give you
another idea of how ordinary life is with two facts: One is that
mathematics & logic could perhaps be said to be the height of
man’s intellectual progress, and two: That no one likes
mathematics & logic except those who make their living from
them.”
***
A man with a motto has just saved himself some time……..
……..(not to mention something else).
…..As he lay under a viaduct a man looked upward and said: “I
see knowledge as like planes circling the skies over man, and my
mind as a landing strip that has been torn up and destroyed by
those I believed my intellectual friends and teachers.”
D.M.S. (Delayed Moral Syndrome): Consigning oneself under
parts of our nation’s infrastructure can certainly give one the
blues. A viewer writes: “Hah!, that’s nothing. I once spent
six hours trapped under my aunt.”
…..Load Bearing Corollary: The crude can only be obscene in
primary matters; the educated, in mental ones; but revolutionist
ideas can offend across the board.
***
…and the Kyrootian choir sang out: “Fun — is a terrible
thing to waste.” …and over by the sack races, one rebel’s
little kid said: “I have fun at both ends.” …and the Choir
sang back: “So do we — so do we.”
***
..and that ole “urban-lorist” Kyroot said: Men with
uncertain bus schedules will often take to preaching at the
Departure Gates.
And a viewer thinks: “God forbid that my brain ever really
starts working in such a way, but I still can’t help but wonder
if this one is somehow connected to that other one from last time
concerning the author of a leading ‘Dream Interpretation’ book
who himself never slept?!….
“This again brings up the matter of the cable station
manager wanting it clearly understood that this broadcast carrier
is in no wise responsible for anything any of its programs might
cause a man to think! …After all — why should we be
responsible when men themselves just barely are?!”
***
And a man asks: “But what if I do quit referring to myself
so much and I kinda like — disappear?!….”
***
A man — “looked toward the city!” — then — “looked toward
new ideas” — then said: “Hey! if you’re not going anywhere
anyway, what difference does it make who you listen to?”
And Kyroot noted: Only a real revolutionist could “see
through that” — since there is no way to “see through that.”
***
Taking off his glasses, and looking out toward the river, a
man mused: “Since men think of their death as a place of no
problems, on that basis — what else can they expect their lives
TO be?!”
***
One guy’s “Thought for August”: “Anyone who writes a
‘Letter To the Editor’ of a publication to defend himself as
regarding something published therein about him, has had his head
shaved without going to a barber shop.”
***
Ordinary minds attempting to explain man is like the tails
of kites trying to reel themselves in. A quiet serious gentleman
over in a most excellent culture reacts thusly: “I despise, (if
that’s not too strong a word), despise allegories that seem to
make some sense.”
***
“Dear Advice Doctor: My friends say I’m crazy.” Dear Sir:
Your friends are crazy.
***
…and Kyroot noted: If you’re alive — there’s always
somebody to talk to.
***
Once the people heard that the legendary landing of a
foreign craft was to be replaced by that of a more modern, more
meaningful and modern one, many of them lost interest. Life has
an unlisted number just so you won’t take it all so “personally.”
***
…news item from the Kyroot Wire: And then the mayor —
the cosmos’ personal, extraordinary representative to man —
said: “Citizens — Subjects — Good People — My Friends: The
city will never let you down! …But if it does — you always
have your family to fall back on! …And of course, if they ever
fail you, you still have your own mind in which to seek refuge!
…And god forbid, should that ever abandon you, just remember:
You heard it here first!”
***
A person writes: “I have been watching your show for some
time now and have wanted to write and suggest that you become a
‘Motivational Speaker,’ but have been left with the question:
‘Motivate people to do what?'”
***
If you think what the collective thinks, your neurons take
on the fleet-footedness of overweight heifers stumbling along,
shoulder to shoulder.
***
A correspondent says: “It was my wife’s cousin who recently
defined religion as: ‘Science for sissies,’ but I have a new
twist on it, to wit: ‘Religion: Religion for sissies.'”
And Kyroot noted: Another interesting thing about all
secondary stuff is that they all carry their own shadow and empty
shell casing with them.
***
More of “Kyroot’s Equitable Logic Smothered in Defining
Gravy-Pictures”: The air in a balloon: The seriousness in life.
***
A man asks: “Would it be more correct to say that the
revolution is an activity with no aim? — or, a purpose with no
requirements?”
And Kyroot told: There was once a group of men who believed
that the “ultimate neural warrior” would be a brain with no body,
and they met with such indifference to this idea that they
undertook a study of the role science fiction plays in
contemporary life, and they all moved to Hollywood where each one
of them eventually got a new hair style.
And a man once asked: “Would it be more correct to describe
the revolution as an activity with no goal? — or, as an
intention with no known demands?”
***
One kid found this note under his breakfast plate: “No
man’s ideas can be wrong as long as he has an empty hole to throw
dirt in.” (Even more than pancakes did the lad savor data on the
mind.)
***
A Kyrootian influenced contractor rubbed his chin and
pondered: “Could the revolution ever put an undue strain on
closet walls?” And Kyroot noted: From routine city “home
improvement” views, the neural rebellion could be considered the
living example of “undueness” — always excessive — always
inappropriate — forever unjustified — but thankfully, generally
unnoticed.
***
…and Kyroot said: The weak must take sides.
…then Kyroot continued: The weak must take sides — thus
is belief in the home team established.
***
A chap pokes us all gently in the ole ribs and chuckles:
“The great thing about having a teeny mind is that you think
everyone else does too.” Then later, Kyroot jabs you a bit
higher and says: And the thing about the ordinary who don’t
think that they do have a teeny mind is that they do also……
as well……..also.
***
Political and religious struggles aren’t actually over
territory or rituals, but for control of various areas of man’s
nervous system.
***
Whenever he was right — I mean really right! — this one
man would say to himself: “Whenever you’re really right, you
don’t even have to mention it.”
***
Kyroot’s nine A.M. class in Herniated Hierarchy found this
message already written on the board: “Rocks have no problems;
animals, but one; only man has multiples — and guess what gang?”
***
…and Kyroot described: An artist is one who tells the
city: “Hey! — fuck all you!” A rebel artist is one who does so
but no one knows it. One urban neighborhood notes: “The great
thing about being crazy over here is that it’s socially
acceptable.”
***
Man’s intellect is naturally wired up in such a propitious
fashion as to make him believe that an electrician can be called
in at almost any time to improve on the arrangement.
***
Guy says: “Sometimes it seems like I know just enough to
‘get-my-self-in-trouble.’ Does this mean I’m now a revolutionist
or still just part of the city?”
***
On every other day this one guy’d feel every other way.
***
A revolutionist: One out in the goo fields catching
lightning bolts by hand.
***
Only Bach can improvise on a Theme-By-Bach.
…and after the general audience had left, Kyroot added:
“Bach” was herein used to designate a non-routine city event.
***
And this letter: “Dear Kyroot, TV Personality & Founder Of
The ‘Neural Revolution’: Dear Kyroot: What would happen if you
went through one entire show and never once mentioned ‘the
revolution’?” This communique seemed to bring K. so much
uncontrollable joy that he was unable to reply, other than to say
that he wished somebody had actually written such a letter — and
that the reality of the letter writer’s question represents an
advanced stage in an individual rebel’s own mental process
regarding his own rebellious activities. …(Kyroot’s looking
over toward you with an inquiring facial “hard-on” just a’dyin’-
&-a’hopin’ that you caught most of that.)
…..quickly changing the subject, Kyroot said: Few sane
homeowners continue to recall their architect to describe to
them their residence. …And for that matter (added Kyroot),
scant survivors of earthquakes care to later see film clips of
the catastrophe. Even later that day Kyroot put in this: I
guess it’s only true rebels who don’t really care what they show
on the news. …(This moved a viewer to ask: “Do you actually
mean to say that a revolutionist wouldn’t care what they show on
the news — or, that he wouldn’t have any real interest in the
events that caused the news they show? …Or, perchance [added
the good viewer, approaching a full head of steam] might you be
inferring some unusual combination thereof that I would have
never thought of?”
***
One guy says that since he’s quit “thinking about himself”
so much, he hardly ever calls.
***
…and then this other letter from a viewer: “Dear Kyroot:
Are there actually two different kinds of ‘Letters from Viewers’?
Some that you write so as to make a particular point in that
context, and others you do just so you can refer to yourself?”
Kyroot appeared to be dumbfounded, if not astonished, then read
the P.S.: “P.S.: This is a ‘real’ letter and not one of those
you made up!” Kyroot then seemed to be both dumb and founded.
…..A “Hall Of Mirrors” fools no one! —- (except those in
it).
…..A chap once asked me: “How could one know if one was
actually living in a ‘House Of Mirrors’ or not?” And giving you
the “old insider’s wink,” Kyroot whispered in your direction:
Boy! — you guys sure know the right response to that one!
Okay, let’s admit it: One of “you guys,” (who hasn’t been
“feeling too good”) did seem to have some trouble instantly
realizing what the “right response” would be, so here goes, it
starts like this: “Anyone who has to ask….” See! I knew you
knew.
***
…and Kyroot koncluded: To a rebel’s mind — fun is mostly
a “home-grown” affair.
***