People’s Beliefs & Ideas Compensate for the Fact They Have None
Audio = Stream from the bar; download from the dots
08/0/1992
Summary = See below
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 92088 -1008
Transcript = None
Key Words =
Summary
#1008 Aug 7, 1992 – 1:00
Notes by TK
Kyroot to :24. Peoples` beliefs, ideas and theories are to compensate for the fact that they have none.
Primary Level World always lacks (starves), Secondary Level World is increasingly difficult to entertain; PL (Primary Level) focused humans are concerned more w/ physical appearance; SL (Secondary Level) humans are more focused on talk (i.e., being on the Donahue show).
History gives man a vague sense of equity; memory is like an leveraged buy-out, makes it all work.
The king’s least favorite is the court comedian; he is tolerated for reasons he doesn’t understand and is little inclined to even mention/notice him.
The News
92088~ 1
…and Kyroot said:
At any given moment
The ideas, theories and beliefs of a people,
Are to compensate for the fact that they have none.
92088- 2
…and Kyroot said:
In dreaded fear of being taken for ordinary
One man carried with him at all times
Little cards which he would hand out to anyone who would accept one, which said:
“I only seem stupid.”
92088- 3
…and Kyroot said:
One man began sending unusual letters to himself; and then reported it to the postal authorities.
(The Ole Cosmic Hermit says:
“Hey, anything’s cheaper than analysis these days — AND more productive!”)
92088– 4
…then Kyroot read from that work:
“The Ups & Apparent ‘Not-Ups Of Life”(aka in other places as something else):
The closer it got to Friday the more concerned Thursday became,
and Wednesday said, “Hey, don’t sweat it — I’ve been through it all before.”
92088- 5
Out of hearing of any crowds.
A rebel spokesman said:
“Cheap questions deserve cheap replies; all questions are cheap questions.”
(Although some may wish for additional elucidation on this matter – I think not, at this time.)
92088- a
…and Kyroot noted:
A man without an aim can sprout a beard — a woman, a man.
92088- 7
A fictional, right-angled, ultraviolet view of history-as-current-events:
As concerns the two major groups of the planet’s populace:
The primary continue to starve while the secondaries grow increasingly difficult to entertain.
92088-
…and Kyroot said:
One purpose Life makes of history is to give man some vague sense of equity.
92088- 9
…and Kyroot said:
Man’s memory is like a leveraged buy-out.
92088-10
…and Kyroot added:
Secondarily speaking on the individual level: Memory makes it all work.
92088-11
..and Kyroot said:
Even those who don’t look out after their OWN best interests look out after SOME one’s.
One man who for many years had faithfully and laboriously struggled to climb Tapioca Mountain, said: “I just can’t go on.” And life replied, “Sure you can.” and he said: “Okay.”
The great thing about not having a choice is — What CHOICE do you have?!!!
92088-12
…and Kyroot said:
What people don’t know they assume their society does.
92088-13
…and someone with the initials, “K.” said:
Only children, domestic pets and adults take their culture “seriously”!… …and two of these groups don’t KNOW any better.
92088-
“Hey!”, proclaimith the Hey Man, “The dumb GOTTA take SOMETHING seriously!”
(“Hey!” and “Hey-back-at-chu.”)
92088-15
As this one god was preparing his son to one day take over the business, he told him: “In the ‘creating’ game’ the most important thing is ‘good design.’
And if not that, then substantial liability insurance.”
92088-16
…and Kyroot said:
Without a mind the physical laws of the universe make no sense; the theories of psychology, even less.
(“Naw”, said one astronomer to a colleague, “Forget about the Big Bang; just figure out how a closet could reproduce itself, and still get out of town for the weekends.”)
A viewer writes: “At one time — before all this–I had some respect for things
that seem to demand or deserve it. WHAT HAPPENED?!!!”
92088-17
…and Kyroot noted:
Anybody not totally nuts, but who seems city-sane & civilized
only “respects” one thing — death! — and not even that as much as he should.
92088-48
…and Kyroot said:
A description of a completed work requires no metaphor.
92088-19
Life chuckled and told some creatures:
“You guys w-e-a-r m-e o-u-t.” — and then he killed them.
92088-20
While The Advice Doctor is on vacation, the local city’s mayor is manning his desk:
“Dear Doctor”, (goes one letter): “Which offers the best protection against being arrested:
increased wisdom?, or old age?”
(Well, I guess we’ll move on….
…I can’t tell if His Honor is going to respond to this or not…..
…92088-21
One ole man told his daughter:
“Just because you don’t know what’s going on doesn’t make it any different.” And for the first time she realized what was going on.
92088-22
…and Kyroot said:
A king’s least favorite at Court is the Royal Comedian;
But for reasons unclear to him he is extremely hesitant to mention it.
92088-23
Overnight we received this fax from a viewer:
“Dear Kyroot & Co: Would you repeat one that was read on your last show? That definition that went:
‘The war cry of the civilized: “Pardon me for existing.'”
Dear Viewer: I’m sorry, but we can’t;
Those are the very kinds of things that many people find
TOO disturbing and confusing…
…(and those who DO understand them like them even LESS).
92088-24
…and Kyroot said:
The civilized who are not crushed are indeed like the dreamed-of, secret, “noble beast.”
92088-25
…and Kyroot observed:
As man’s secondary world grows ever more complex and sophisticated
those with little talent give increasing attention to their appearance, while those with a bit begin to talk more.
A boy stood on a burning man and declared:
“I contain within me,– all cultures, all societies, all mortal abilities and follies, all corporal hopes and fears, and all earthly manifestations of the human condition, and man’s secondary existence — all-in-all, honey — inside, I’M a MESS!”
92088-26
…then Kyroot presented, (or least noted),
“Math, Physics, and Topology For A Twenty-Third Century”:
A rebel — somehow — has got to pull from within him that which is not there.
9 2 0 88 – 27
…and Kyroot said:
Be On Notice: In a pissing contest with modifiers, you’re doomed to defeat.
Someone in our audience asks:
“Dear Kyroot: In your comments when you use the words, ‘you’ and ‘yours’ do you mean them in the sense of ‘me’ and ‘mine’?”
As the blind conductor on a train not going anywhere,
who was given to motion sickness,
and who had also recently died said: “Now-w-w we’re getting somewhere!”
92088-28
From the Headlines Of Kyroot:
Announcement: Life doesn’t want to change.
Correction: Life doesn’t want YOU to change.
Thank you.
92088-29
…and a gentleman inquires:
“Well, then how do you explain the fact that people reform?” Well sir, you just missed it — that’s the point; they reform to hide the fact that they can not change.
92088-30
…two guys were talking and the first one said:
“If stomachs and livers and stuff like that could talk, I wonder what they’d say”? And the second guy says, “Jeeze! – I don’t even want to THINK about it!”
92088-31
Miss Etiquette received the following letter:
“Dear Miss Etiquette: Can a person’s mind make their passions do what it wants just by thinking about them?”
SIR! – what kind of question is THAT to ask a lady!!
92088-32
From the Unpublished City Dictionary — Definition:
A poet: A failed suicide attempt.
92088-33
Off on his own,
with no help from adults,
this one kid figured out: “If you ACT dizzy
You can BE dizzy.”
92088-34
…and just after all of that, we received this singing telegram:
“That don’t confront me, Oh can’t you see;
For some of us are born all ready diz-zee.”
It was signed, “The-World’s-Fattest-Blues-Singer”: John Lee Cellulite.
All the world’s a theatre, and life says to all:
“Okay, you little fuckers — Everybody! — ON STAGE! — NOW!!”
92088-35
“Okay”, said the guy sitting next to you,
“When it comes down to it we’re all a laughing stock, and none more so than those who deny it.”
92088-36
…and Kyroot said:
The most important thing is not the actual hiking, weaving, or stamp collecting, but rather the defense of your hobby;
(And when possible — an attack oh your pooh-poohers.)
92088-36-B
…and Kyroot admitted:
Those with metaphysical training who can wiggle their own eyebrows can also wiggle yours.
92088-37
…and Kyroot said:
Most kings don’t have a hobby —
— Oh, they have one, but not one you can see — — And not one they want you to know about
…(In many cases — it’s YOU.)
92088-38
A person writes:
“I would appreciate it if you would not mention me by name on your show, and if you never have,
Then you can,
And then I’ll write you about it again.
Sincerely”, etc.
92088-39
…and Kyroot said:
Human, speech is a form of encouragement — even that which seems patently otherwise.
92088-.40.
…Part Two:
All human speech is a form of encouragement — even when it seems obviously otherwise; it is then a question of,
Once being locked into a compartment on what seems to be a run-away train, with no windows or doors, and
with real doubt as to the presence of an engineer,
whether you’ll be satisfied with assurances as to how seldom wrecks occur under these conditions.
…and Kyroot said:
While it has nothing to do with fame or superiority,
It remains true that a real revolutionist has no peers;
A case of a “Hermit-in-the-round.”
92088-42
Well gang, how about this! —
The old Advice Doctor just popped in to pick up his mail,
And took enough time out to answer this one letter:
“Dear Doctor: Is it true that those with serious physical problems are usually then spared from having mental ones?”
Dear Sir: I don’t think so….. I’m not really sure….
92088-43
The lookout man’s youngest son said;
“What passes for being an intellectual in the city is a sponge-in-a-suit.”
(And in “Hero’s Hell ” the head-heat-keeper hotly warned the crowd:
“Anyone who fails to begin a sentence with a quote will have their flame turned off.”)
92088-44
While awaiting his steed to be shod, the Royal Philosopher said to the village smithy:
-Even a broken clock can be made to run again.”
And the blacksmith asked: “How about one that somebody’s sat on?” And the thinker replied: “It could be repaired.”
And the hammer-wielder inquired: “How about one that’s in a million pieces?” And the mental-marvel responded: “It too could be fixed.”
And the man with the anvil asked: “Well how about one that had been exploded by an atomic bomb?” And the philosopher hesitated a moment, then said: “I’ll have to get back to you on that one.”
92088-45
Short Dialogue:
“The use of profane words shows a lack of intelligence.”
“Hell — the use of WORDS shows such a lack!”
The End — (And we apologize for bringing this to you.)
92088-46
Another unrecognized talent of the king:
He can rob you right before your eyes and you never even suspect.
92088-47
…and a viewer asks:
“Would this ‘king’ you refer to most likely be found in my muscles, or in my blood?”
(Oh-h-h, so okay — so a viewer DIDN’T write it!)
92088-48
One man thought:
“A funny thing about revolutionist ideas is that almost everyone can momentarily
understand what they’re about, and yet no one is wired up to really want to think about them.”
Thus does non polar-based thinking (seem to the regular passengers like an interesting, but unnecessary skiff riding aboard an unsinkable ocean liner that everyone knows will soon go down.
(One day Professor Height asked himself:
“Is it just possible that three dimensional ‘bad news’ might, at a four-D level, become a ‘joke‘?!”)
92088-49
…and Kyroot said:
The lead wolf of every pack is slightly mad.
92088 5 0
An ole man said to the kid:
“In case you’ve never found the right words to fit this situation, you might care to try this description on:
There are, operationally speaking, no such things as, ‘Dumb people and smart people,’
Or, ‘Good people and bad people,’
But rather people who live at ten degrees latitude,
Others at twenty degrees,
And still others at thirty, and like that.”
…and Kyroot said:
The cheap always want to be buried last.
92088-52
…and Kyroot said:
To accept the notion that a man’s thinking can be separated from his emotions is to believe that a decapitated head could survive.
It is obviously not possible,
And yet somehow a revolutionist has damn near got to pull it off.
92088-53
…and a viewer of our show notes:
“If I may say so: I like it better when you speak allegorically about stuff
Rather than when you seem to be talking about man in a
Plain, physical, every-day kind of way — know what I mean?
(My brother, who also watches, feels just the opposite.)
Yours”, etc.
92088-54
…and Kyroot said:
Once local reality had everyone nice and captured
It tied ’em all up together – but with ropes no one could see.
(“Whoa!”, said the Whoa-Ho Man,
“Don’t tell me that that explains ‘a lot’ — that explains the box your ‘lot’ CAME IN! Whoa!
92088 5 5
Your daily fairy tale from the wine cellars of Kyroot & Sons:
It is only children, fools and rebels who would say, “I don’t care.”
And only one of that triumvirate who would actually be saying: “I KNOW and don’t care.”|
(Okay now, everyone BUT children and fools can “think about it.”
92088-56
…and Kyroot noted:
Few people’s hormones seem naturally inclined to assist in revolutionist efforts.
…(and under your breath and his, Kyroot added:
Should we all join hands and sing that mighty hymn:
“So What! — And What ELSE Is New?!”)
A viewer writes: “I’m pretty sick of this whole thing, but I can’t seem to stop watching.”
92088-51
…and Kyroot said:
Melancholy is the parsley on a rebel’s plate;
This in spite of the fact that city nutritionists insist emphatically that it is a necessary food-group.
Below the water line
A moat can destroy the foundations of the very castle it was meant to protect.
“Hey”, says a man, “Nobody cares about this crap except a rebel!”
92088-58
Another entry from “Kyroot’s Terrifying Thesaurus”:
Morality: Bumper stickers for the nerves.
92088-
Another of “Kyroot’s Helpful Hints For Instant Medical Diagnosis”:
Anyone who says that any of man’s inventions have “done more harm than good” — has a tumor.
92088-60
…and Kyroot offered a NEW definition of the neural revolution:
The fantastic juggling of hormones.
92088-61
This one guy,
(When things were going pretty good),
Would refer to his brains,
(In relationship to his whole being),
As, “The brains of the outfit.”
92088-62
…and now we bring you an even later breaking definition:
Revolutionists: The only people who DON’T know where it’ll all end.
92088-63
…and Kyroot said:
A man sans his own fingerprints on his brain is no-o-o rebel of mine.
92088-64
One guy looked at himself coyly in the mirror and said: “You just hate it when I’m right.”
92088-65
From the, “Heads-Up!, No Matter WHAT They TOLD YOU File”; this noteworthy item:
Circumcision is not a metaphor for ANYTHING!
92088-66
“Dear Kyroot:” , opens the letter,
“I wrote to you several days ago and you read my letter on your last program,
But I don’t think you understood what I was asking;
I said that since you’d said that there was ‘no-such-THING-as-a-revolutionist’
Then how could I ever BE one?
And from your response I don’t believe you understood my question.”
Sir – I did,
And again — that’s the beauty of it.
92088-67
…and Kyroot said:
As the universe chugs down the track — everybody rides–
including those who think they don’t,
and even those who believe
they got OFF,
some where, some time back.
(And life said: “Choo choo Ya’ll!”)