City Intelligence Is Always a Compromise
Audio = TBD ( Aneeded )
07/17/1992
Summary = See below
Condensed News Items = See below
News Item Gallery = jcap 92079-0999
Transcript = None
Key Words =
Summary
#999 Jul 17, 1992 – 1:00
Notes by TK
Kyroot to .28. Those who find human behavior ironic are surprised to find the tip of an arrow is sharp.
Human city-intelligence is always a compromise; why always compromise when you don’t have to?!
Being alive gives men something to think about.
Politics requires no talent; intelligence is not required for leadership; Life leads all.
The News
A man has many friends; …and most of them are inside;
…and most of them are in apartments he’s never visited.
***
Acceptance of ignorance is the strychnine of the mind; …so also of ordinary info.
***
As he pondered the temperature he confided: “I take up so much of my time that there’s hardly anything or anybody left over.”
***
The lecturer told the audience: “One useful trick is to never ‘think in your native language.'” And a man at table two thought, “No trick to that!”
***
…and Kyroot noted: One man said to his background, “Don’t hold dinner or my life for me — I’m going to the city.”
***
While at a cheap motel the Two Testy Brothers were sitting by the cheap pool talking. (First one said): “Which would you rather be, a happy servant or a miserable master?” And the other, nearly choking, replied: “You mean we got a choice?!”
***
The city poet said: “Man is error — set in motion.” (He then asked if someone would buy him a drink.)
***
One man could not think without the assistance of a drum machine; and upon discovering his head, he realized he had one.
***
One guy would always say, “Remember — you heard it here first!” and then he’d repeat the latest “catch phrase,” and just as you should expect — he is quite popular and respected.
***
Rebel’s Proverb Update: We stand on the shoulders of our own stupidity — though some of us call it one thing, and some another.
***
One man’s latest theory for a Friday: “Anybody that’d let anybody else be smarter than they are deserves to just be anybody.”
***
Normalcy is reality’s local disguise.
***
One man refused to look at his own feet; he said they reminded him too much of home.
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To try and presently “lay the matter to acceptable rest,” this one chap says, “I find myself to be no more than a metaphor for my mind.”
***
After taking his proper place among the sophisticates he said: “Now that I am in the city I’d like some TALK with my art.”
***
While they were repairing the projector this one man thought: “If history did have any intelligence, it’d be smirking at us right along.”
***
One man was embarrassed to have a television; another was ashamed to have books, while a third’s sole luxury was a lack of guilt. …(Later, Kyroot announced the Game Of The Day: “Pick A Number.”)
***
The park philosopher cried to the crowd: “The voice of Ancient Wisdom calls us upward, while the voice of our banker says, ‘Hey! Snap out of it!’ Who will you heed?” And the people clutched their credit cards as they dashed for the exit.
***
As complexity distinguishes a tree from a stone, so too variety, a rebel’s mind from others.
…..and a certain cerebellum asked itself: “If ‘pithy’ had more letters, what would it spell? …What would it mean?”
***
…and Professor K. noted: One man couldn’t speel worth a damn. — (“Oh No! — Not him again!”)
***
“Remember, my boy,” said an ole man to the kid, “‘No,’ ‘don’t,’ and ‘impossible’ are all just one third of a total reality; …which, on top of everything else, is an even greater whole than everything it already is.” …(At first the lad was tempted to say: “Gives you something to think about,” but quickly regained his growing equilibrium as he realized anew, “Being alive gives you something to think about.”)
***
The heart of one street corner preacher’s message was: “There’ll be no antonyms in heaven.”
***
Just as exhaust fumes from the bus are the fresh air of the future, so are “lingering doubts” the intellectual dessert preceding tomorrow’s breakfast. …(One man’s personal song was:
“I can’t get on,
I can’t get off:
Oh my god I’m already on,
How the hell do I get off?!”
…[“Have a professional set YOUR words to music! Send your poems, along with twenty-five dollars to: ‘Life-&-Death Tune-Smiths,’ Care-of: Wherever YOU are now. …(Zip: Zero, zero —
zero o.)”])
***
A chap half way between city park and the downtown university has as his slogan: “A mind un-blemished is a mind un-fimished.”
***
A man writes: “My brother and I have been watching your shows now for several years, and I think all of the Kyroots ever read are somehow connected, but my brother says there have been so many that it’s not possible. What can you tell us?” Consider, sir, the percentile difference between men who’ve been shot and say, “I’ve been shot,” and those who have and don’t notice it.
***
An ole sorehead said: “Look at it this way: Even a broken clock is wrong twenty-two times a day.”
***
On the “I’ll Speak For Everyone Day,” this one city put on a hat and said: “Which is the more commendable: The futile attempt to justify what our hormones make us do, or the silly one regarding our minds?!” …(He bowed, and smiled.) …Someone in our audience says that a city should be referred to as an “it,” not a “he.” …(So! We don’t have to give this crowd an I.Q. test. …[And that same man says we’d sound more erudite if we’d said “administer” a test rather than “give.”])
***
…and Kyroot The Unencumbered Cosmologist said: The prevailing force in this one monadal universe was named “Bite My Butt” — which was impossible, due to the dimensional limitations.
***
Whenever this one man had something he wanted to say he’d preface it by saying, “Here’s what my brother said about this…” and then if the listeners didn’t approve of his comments he could just say, “Yeah — I got a real dumb-ass brother all right.” (And it all went so well that soon his brother said, “Jeeze! I should’ve thought of that!”)
***
…and Kyroot noted: Over in this one reality the prize for a life well wasted and spent is your own personalized “tumor holster.”
***
Standing proud amidst the splendor of his civilization one man announced: “By me placing such a high value on my limitations I remain sane, stable, and predictable, and fit company for my likewise pedestrian peers.”
***
Then Kyroot presented another round of the “Here’s A Question, And Here’s One Back At You” game: Why do all the religions spend so much time talking about their founders? Why do you spend so much time thinking about you? …(One guy says: “I don’t wanna play any more.”)
***
A singular street-level genius of the human intellect is that whatever distances it measures, as soon as they’re tabulated — they’re insufficient. …(“Don’t be fooled,” said the lion to the pride, “those who want to ‘learn-from-the-past’ are just tired, too tired to presently push ahead in their head.”)
***
One man’s tumor contacted the local authorities.
…..a concerned viewer faxes: “It would seem to me that out of a simple sense of decency, if you can’t do anything else you could at the very least not mention tumors more than once per program.”
***
Seeing as how it was less than fifty-six hours ’til the weekend, this became one fellow’s latest theory: “Going naked won’t necessarily make you smarter, but at least you won’t appear quite-so-dumb from the neck up.” …(And don’t ask me what it means! — You’re as close to Saturday as I am.)
***
In this one so-called “life after death” place, the god in charge kept sending a guy around who’d continually tell everybody: “Hey! None of that around here!” and if anyone would ask, “None of what?” he’d reply, “That!”
***
…then Kyroot gave a capsule review of today’s “Feature Movie Treat”: One guy had an “answer-for-everything,” and his illusionary, evil-twin brother one day said: “You humble-acting-bastard! — I guess you think you’re it!” And the man replied, “Not ‘think,’ pig-breath — I KNOW I am!” (Rated: PG-65.)
***
In non-visible paint the artist entitled his work: “For every beige, bland theory there is a multicolored, exciting reality.”
***
And the head of the local “Pro Scarlatti Society” writes to tell us that he’s changed sides. …(That last call you heard was from a man who wants to know if he should now think of his mind as having a left and right foot, or an In-&-Out basket.)
***
To try and move along his own intellectual electoral processes, one man now states: “I am my OWN ‘third-party-candidate.'” …(And still as always: City grid lock passes for acceptable traffic flow.)
***
On one world a man asked himself: “What’s the use in having ‘staying power’ if you don’t want to stay?!” …(On a sister planet to that world they have an old legend that says that once upon a time the creatures’ stomachs and sex organs could talk, and after many happy years of happy existence, one day the cry went up among them: “Look out! What the hell’s those greyish lookin’ cells coming this way?!!”)
***
A man writes thusly to the Advice Doctor: “Dear Doctor: Would a man of revolutionist thinking be humble, or haughty?” Dear Sir: One thing for sure — he wouldn’t ask questions like that.
***
…then Kyroot relayed this little “personal item” (which I’m sure we’re all safe in assuming is “made-up-as-hell”): At the end of the cafeteria line a gent rushed up and offered to pay my check with a handwritten note he had which said: “To me, the neural revolution is like the smiling pit bull of human thought.”
…(Ah yes, and later as a waiter brought around hot coffee to the tables, along with sugar and cream he offered up this observation: “It’s the little things in a man’s life that reveal much about him… …if he’s a little man.”)
***
…then Kyroot made way for: Another Rebel’s Tip: When you speak, change all objects into subjects; (and discontinue the use of objects as much as possible).
***
The universal is a silent deed-well-done while the local always requires further comment.
***
And a viewer writes: “Although I find some pleasure in your short epigrams and one-liners, I must say that I would be more impressed with your efforts if you would do them into longer essays — extended ‘think-pieces.’ Yours Fraternally.” Dear Fraternal: ‘Think-piece’ THIS! — You retarded rat-bite!
…(Hey! It’s just Kyroot’s little “make-believe” joke corner… …right??)
***
Oh, (said Kyroot), here are a couple of “real” letters we’ve recently received. The first one is from a man who says: “Regarding something you said on your last program, that even an answer that doesn’t make sense might still answer a question — how can that be?!”
***
…and the second goes like this: “Dear Kyroot: A group of us have been enjoying your show for some time now, and the other night I had this dream: I dreamed we contacted you and said we’d like to have copies of all the Kyroots that have been read on the air for the last several years, and we asked you how much that would cost, and I dreamed you said, ‘Twenty thousand dollars,’ and we gasped, ‘Twenty thousand dollars??!!!’ and you replied, ‘Twenty five thousand dollars.'”
***
…then this item from Kyroot’s Game Plan Book: Proposal: If the dough is as good as the finished cookie, why even bake it?! City’s response: If we didn’t, what would history do for a living?!
***
After the ceremonies, the ole man took the kid aside, behind the platform and told him: “Now that you have a degree in the secondary, intellectual sciences, there’s little left for me to tell you but this: Never falter while playing leap frog to look over your shoulder to see whose team Pinocchio’s on.”
***
In a sense, those with certain unusual interests are given a pass key.
***
By a bridge a man said: “One thing about living a life as crude and dangerous as mine is that you don’t have to come up with some kind of ‘psychological trick,’ or reminder to keep you on your toes.”
One rebel thinker said: “Those in the city who at times find human behavior ‘ironic’ couldn’t, in the woods, locate dirt on the ground.” Coupon redemption: Who but the urban can be surprised that the tip of an arrow is sharp.
***
From amidst the scurry and flurry of battle the voice of the would-be warrior-king could be heard a’crying: “I am surrounded by incompetents; I am surrounded by the ill fit; Lo, I am surrounded by myself.”
***
Flash! Flash! We interrupt to bring you this news flash: It has just been announced that a “cease-fire truce” has been called in the basement; decent citizens, however, are still warned not to go down there. Flash! Flash! — That is all. (If you can stand it.)
***
On this one world a group of men decided to rename the activity of crying out to the gods to petition a change in their policies and operations: They now call such action “laying your pecker on the track.” …(One guy’s mother had a motto: “I’d rather be dead once than sick twenty times.”)
***
Now it can be revealed: One viewer wrote our show and attempted to put themself in the letter.
***
The mighty voice-from-afar shook the city as it roared: “I am the beast with two brains,” and all the people screamed with fright. Then it proclaimed: “I am the beast with two hearts,” and still they all shrilled in terror. So then it said: “I am the beast with two feet,” and the people called back, “Shall we dance?” Moral: Progress scares no one if it goes fast, OR slow enough.
***
It’s rumored that one man traded in his shoulder for a new place to look.
***
The Advice Doctor received this letter: “My Dear Doctor: Which makes me feel the worse: My experiences? My hormones? Or my relatives and other things I think about?”
***
A certain seditious man who kept trying to get out of town one day thought: “An artist is your friend — until he speaks!”
***
Next, Kyroot was partially proud to present “Rhyme Time”:
Life has a head,
Life has feet;
Over in the city in the middle’s where we’ll meet.
…(Then suddenly — with little warning at all — Kyroot gave the “Quantumized Query”: Human intelligence is always a compromise; why always compromise when you don’t have to?!”
***
In the city a whine is as good as a stare.
…..”But Pa Pa,” said the kid, “I don’t want to live in the city.” “No, no,” replied his old man, “try it again.” “Pa Pa,” he then said, “but I don’t want to be born in the city.” “Now,” responded his father, “now you’re getting it. You have to be born in the city, and then afterwards want to leave. A rebellious and creative traveler must keep this straight, or else you’ll just run around in in-town circles like the rest of the urban nervous.”
***
One guy summed it up like this: “The way things stand now, I don’t want to waste my time thinking any thought that’d let me think it.”
***
What keeps the bus moving is the continual string of new faces who come stand next to the driver at the wide, wide windshield, and who point and say: “Look! What is that just up ahead?…”
…..Just before we started taping this evening, this telegram was delivered to the studio: “Dear Kyroot Show: I would rather take a for-sure secondary bus than have to worry over the uncertain schedule of rebel airplanes.”
…..after a brief pause K. offered his combination Moral & Anti-Moral: Ordinary people have enough to worry about; ordinary people have NOTHING to worry about.
…..and after another pause Kyroot added: The scales of ordinary intellectual justice are rigged — rigged so that everybody wins.
***
…and Kyroot gave: Extended version of a prior: The creative urge in man is tomorrow trying to get out; ordinary emotions, today struggling to hold on.
***
The speaker thus spake to the crowd: “Man: We creatures who, grasping gold yet long for our neighbor’s brass. Man: The being never satisfied.” And many of the listeners began shouting out, “You call that original criticism?!” And with a sudden, startled countenance he cried back — “Criticism?! I was praising man!”
***
One man let the house mice sleep in the drawer with his socks and sweaters; he said it was the least he could do, considering what his mind had done for him.
***
As compares the primary and secondary worlds: Life is simple — being alive is not.
…..and Kyroot expanded and exploded: As compares the primary and secondary world: Life is simple — being alive is not
….thank god.
***
There are two realities: The normal one, and the other one.
…..And now for Kyroot’s “Gift Horse Of The Day”: Reality is local — what you’re looking for, not.
***
And a viewer writes our show: “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
***
Toward dusk, as he sat gazing out over the local darkening skies he thought: “Once you start feeling pity for others, and sadness for life, there’s no end to it.” (What a bright pleasant evening it turned out to be.)
Once they were alone he began, very attentively, to caress and arouse his grey cells as he cooed, “I do so love this time we have together.” …(And what a pleasant, exciting life it turned out to be.)