Jan Cox Talk 0070

Quarbits and the “I’ll Never Forget” Syndrome


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Document:  70,  June 23, 1983
Copyright(c) Jan M. Cox, 1983

 Diagram # 27 illustration

Diagram # 27 illustration

     The idea of a trinity of forces is certainly not new, it has been hinted at in cultures and religions ranging from the Hindu deities to the trinity in fundamental Christianity.  I’m going to expand the map by giving you a new name for the trilateral dance:  a Quarbit.  The three forces in motion are not an orbit but a quarbit: the three in simultaneous movement plus the three-in-action composing the additional fourth entity.  Your tendency is to envision the dance as an orbit with two forces revolving around one or one revolving around the other two or two running head on.  Rather it is all three moving simultaneously in all possible directions (into at least a fourth dimension) plus the three in relationship, adding the fourth aspect.

     There is a direct correlation between the three forces and the three circuits in man but do not conclude that one of the circuits represents one force.  No circuit operates in isolation nor does any force.  There is a reality to the three circuits beyond any metaphysical game.  You can begin, in a nonverbal way, beyond two dimensions, to See what is going on.

In the field of subatomic physics it’s now accepted, as those involved historically in This Thing have always known, that the act of observation, in and of itself, affects the observed.  While you’re busy drawing conclusions and tidy explanations the whole dance is changing.  So when I say there is a direct correlation between the three circuits and the  three forces do not put any periods on it.  Leave it floating open-endedly.  You cannot catch it in your hands, nor put it into neat sentences.  Because everything you can observe, and much much more, is part of a continually metamorphosing quarbit.

I am going to move closer to one of the cousins of the secret that can never directly be told.  I have already offered you an extraordinary hint in the rhetorical question:  “What if there is no psychological self?”  I’ll take you closer still.  But remember, the closer you get to the secret the simpler the maps become, and the easier it is to be told the astounding and think, “So what?  Was that new?”

     Contemporary psychology, in its attempt to explain human behavior, claims that the “personality” or “self” is built upon a system of reward/punishment begun during infancy.  Each individual is a storehouse of psychological reactions, a summation of past influences from his environment.  Little Fred commanded his father’s attention only by breaking Daddy’s tools.  A “psychological” pattern ensues and Big Fred is later repeatedly attracted to women who pay attention to him only when he annoys them.  The explanation is that the pattern, originally based upon a reward received, becomes rooted psychologically, so deeply rooted that it could take years to uncover its original basis in Fred’s dark and hoary past.

     These explanations, although childish and insufficient for the Few, are not someone’s imagination; they are a reflection of another reality.  There is a basis to the pattern that is Fred, a basis for personality, but it’s not psychological.  It’s physical.  The literal basis is electrochemical change in the nervous system.  I’ll pose a series of “What if’s?” for your Neuralization:  What if when Little Fred received his father’s attention after displeasing him, a series of electromagnetic responses were established in his nervous system?

What if this is not, in fact, different from experiments done with mice in which they learn they’ll receive food by pressing a button and later the scientist can stimulate a particular part of the  mouse’s brain and he’ll keep pressing that button even if no food is forthcoming?

What if all these electrochemical patterns are what’s eventually labeled “personality”?

And I repeat:  What if there is no psychological self?

Everyone believes they have psychological problems, serious flaws to be wrestled with and overcome.  Let us say you think yours is anger.  All you’re doing is standing at a bus stop and a sports car careens around the corner doing 70.  And you get that bristly feeling, the voices start, “The sign says 35 m.p.h.! The Jerk! Isn’t that just the way life is.”  Then someone else catches your eye, he’s staring at you and now you’re red hot.  “What’re you looking at buddy?”  Here’s another “What if?”:  What if what you call anger is a tripping of certain circuits that create a biochemical change?  And the payoff is that it keeps you you.  It couldn’t be called pleasurable in the common use of the term, but pleasurable it is because without that anger, without that electrochemical response, “you” would cease to exist.  If you didn’t repeatedly become hot tempered, as you always had, you would soon be a raving maniac.  Your anger, fear, self-pity, all those behaviors you call psychological problems are like a necessary switch continually being thrown and it keeps you sane at the ordinary level.  The reward is stability.  Although no one proclaims fear or anger as pleasurable, they are, can you see?  The alternative, if these patterns are removed, is the feeling that you’re going mad.  All those aspects of yourself that you roundly condemn are, literally, acts of physical self-preservation.

Personality is a series of repetitive and extremely limited electrochemical responses.  Energy travels up the spine and culminates in “I” at Line level.  The boundaries of the circuits themselves are a limiting factor and this is tied to the level of consciousness necessary at any given time by Life.  Humanity is here to serve a purpose and a limited, binary consciousness is still the necessary medium.

Here’s something else so simple it’s almost impossible to See by the vigilant and is totally invisible to Line-level consciousness.  People continually express the division between that which arises from man and his social structures and that which arises out of nature.  Consciousness does not, it can not, perceive the speciousness of this division — that man is not a part of nature, that, indeed, nature is the source of all man’s structures.  The division also overtly or tacitly implies that one, nature, is good while the other, man, is evil.  Man is running amok, polluting the environment, not living a proper life.  And, of course, on the other side are the gods patiently and sadly waiting for man to shape up.  You can’t squeeze man and nature together within the limits of binary consciousness.  At that level, the gods and man will always remain separated.  The very nature of binary consciousness is division; man looks around and all he sees everywhere is conflict.

We’re back to the three forces in action.  I’m about to provide more names for them but remember there is no real name for them.  That is not to discourage you from sincere and sweaty observations; not only can you See their interaction but you can experience their continual flow through you.  The First force we’ll temporarily call the “unknown”, Second force the “known” and Third force the “unaccountable”.

First force, the unknown, is the continuing attempt to evolve, reform and modify.  I have previously called it creative but people so readily want to associate that with meaning it’s better; it’s not better, all the Forces are necessary for anything to be alive.  Compared to the Second force, though, First force is the unknown one, It attempts to do the new.

The Second force, the known, is the conserving force, always involved with a rear guard action, protecting the past.  I have used the example before of the top of the spine representing the liberals of Washington D.C., or N.Y.C., and the base of the spine housing your conservative Alabama bricklayers. The liberals study the economy of Alabama and produce a 5000 page document detailing the progressive changes that would improve the economy, develop the land, increase education and the conservatives won’t even look at it.  We’re not just speaking of conservatives in politics, although they reflect these forces on a greater scale, but you must See the Three Forces alive in you; that within you is this constant drive, unprofitable to one with an Aim, for rear guard action.

It does seem, does it not, that the majority of noise and voices issuing forth from humanity constitute a grand scale soap opera.  Note, I say it seems that way.  It seems to be coming predominantly from Second force.  But don’t forget the role of the observer.

With that caveat in mind I’m going to give you an example of one of the voices of Second force that is quite real:  The War Memorial Syndrome.  This is a classic example of a phenomenon that occurs all the time in your daily lives.  The government, several years after a war ends, erects a monument in honor of the soldiers who died in combat.  Veterans of the war descend upon the monument at its unveiling to deliver and listen to the memorials.  The crux of all the speeches is:  “No matter what happens we’ll never forget.”  Second force is in action through the voices of these men in the “I’ll Never Forget” syndrome, and a continuity with the past is provided along the horizontal Line.  The soldier addressing his peers and their families proclaiming perhaps that, “The war was questionable, but the dead died valiantly, all but ignored by their countrymen.  But we’ll never forget.”  And if you were in attendance you could feel yourself responding, your system vibrates in agreement.  But let me remind you that although the “I’ll Never Forget” syndrome is proper and necessary in Life, it is a form of absolute death for a man or woman with an Aim.  And I might add, it’s ubiquitous:  “I’ll never forget I’m a Moslem;  I’ll never forget I came from a long line of hard-working, decent middle class people.”  You can not, in any way, be tied to any form of “I’ll never forget.”  To ordinary people the past is important, it offers a stable continuity to life.  For you, it’s of no importance.  If you can’t free yourself from the past, you will forever be slave labor for Second force.

All human institutions, political structures, religions are engaged in a rear-guard battle against attempted change.  Let’s digress and picture for a moment how certain religions have shrines and relics from the past that millions of people visit.  One, for example, is a statue that the people claim cries.  People will crawl on their hands and knees to see it, millions of people.  Your immediate voices decry such behavior as ridiculous, that it’s impossible.  But what if it’s true?  Not that the statue cries; it doesn’t matter if it does or doesn’t.  What does matter is, millions of people believe that statue cries.  Millions of people. Can you See that once something becomes real, it becomes real?

All institutions and structures engaged in rear-guard action have a certain gravity or weight to them, it’s a reflection of their maintenance of the Grid.  Nothing unknown or unpredictable happens through them.  Recall my example of the man-on-the-street news reporter who avoids all the deranged looking types; it’s the perfect arrangement of the Grid.  There are people walking down that street who believe that the Pope is a pansy and the Vatican should be razed but they’ll never be interviewed during the Pope’s multi-country tour.  They could be perfectly dressed, rational and sober, standing within two feet of the reporter and he’ll never choose them.  It’s the nature of the Grid; the unexpected will not occur.

You must begin to struggle against looking at other individuals as individuals and start to view man globally.  As I mentioned before, if you are operating in your mechanical “I” viewing another’s mechanical “I” then you’re consciousness is located in the tiniest ball bearing of this enormous living machine.  At that level there is no room for meaningful movement, no possibility of growth.  Whether you’re talking to a friend, or watching a reporter on t.v. or listening to the President’s address, you are not looking at an individual with personal motives and circumstances.  To See men globally is to begin to glimpse that in that person you are Seeing an absolute reflection of Life itself with all Three Forces flowing through him.  No person is a single spokesman for any one Force, and if you can’t See that then you’ll live the rest of your life believing in Rainbow Valley.  Yes, the guys with the black hats on are the villains and they’re rotten from their little heads to the tips of their toes.

To deal with people globally requires the remembrance that you are not dealing with someone who has a personal reservoir of psychological problems and environmental circumstances.  He is a reflection of Life and the Three Forces in operation.  Expand this and you’ll See that the Three Forces are at work with the veterans keeping vigil at the  monument to the war dead.  And when Life seems to be struggling against itself it’s a triaxial dance.  One example is the development of air flight:  Life is slapping down those planes and at the same time whispering in someone’s ear, “Design those suckers and fly!”  Another superb example is war, difficult as this may be for you to See at first.  Detach yourself from the identification you hold with your lineage and it’s historical circumstances and you’ll see that Life is taking these two or more different cultures and cramming them together.  It’s Life struggling with itself for its own further growth. Attila and Napoleon were not Second force incarnate —  no one is a spokesman for just one Force. They were necessary transformers of energies that Life needed.  But, wars, you believe are serious business and you wait for me to decry them.  What is serious, truly serious, is your entrapment in the confines of binary consciousness.

All of you have heard or used the expression, “I told myself…..da da da da dah da dah da.”  You’ve read it in literature, heard it in movies and it’s not a figure of speech.  People have a very vague awareness of a certain internal process it reflects.  The examples are unending:  “I told myself when he insulted my cooking I would not get angry the way I always do.”  Or, I told myself, and I remember I was still sitting in my car, that I’d have only two drinks and then it’s home for me.”

What is going on?  Who told who what?  Are there two “I”s inside and one is just hanging around waiting for the other to holler, “Listen up!”?  How is it done?

You’ve “told yourself” things countless times.  If there’s just one thing inside of you why does it have to tell itself anything?  What can you tell yourself that you don’t already know?  Why does “I” need to talk to itself — and what purpose might be served by this process?

On a more peripheral note you might wonder whether she did get angry when he insulted her cooking for the umpteenth time or whether he did actually leave the party after his two drinks.  More likely than not he’s still hanging around at 3 a.m., the way he always does.  How many times has he, how many times have you, told yourself you wouldn’t get angry or have that third extra drink, but you’ve never seen it through?

Every time he says, “I told myself just two drinks,” his electrochemical stability is maintained.  He is continually being pleased, remaining stable, and not being able to do  what he intended is part of that habitual stability.  His system is rewarded.

Consider the feeling built into humanity that, in particular situations, it seems like “me” versus this group of people acting in concert against me.  Suppose you were intent on finishing college after ten years and you are extremely enthusiastic.  Your voices tell you how much it would change your life, how much more money you’ll earn, how happy your parents will be.  You send in the application, get your college transcripts from ten years ago and finally receive a letter requesting you to meet with the Admissions Board the middle of next month.  While you’re waiting you get even more attached to the idea, talk to your friends and read all kinds of books.  The day arrives, you go before the Board, they quickly review your records and say, “Sorry, we can’t accept any of these credits.”  You try to reason with them, practically begging, but you can see they’ve got stacks of applications to process, and it suddenly strikes you that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.  They’ve spent all of thirty seconds on your application and they tell you that you wasted three and a half years and there’s no way you’ll be admitted to their school. There is nothing you can do and suddenly, there you are on Main Street in Rainbow Valley — it’s the good guys versus the bad guys again.  Everybody suffers from this.  There you are with your “good, creative urge” to improve yourself, and then suddenly you are in front of these five stone faces.  To you they are the living representation of the Second force.  This has happened to everyone, whether you didn’t get into college or you were wrongfully arrested, whatever.  There is “you”, and then there’s a whole group of people apparently acting in concert for evil.  They turn a deaf ear and it strikes you that you’re helpless. There is a feeling that ranges all the way from absolute impotence to the grandest miscarriage of justice. Here you were striving to do something absolutely decent, or you’re in court proclaiming your innocence, and no one will listen.  You suddenly realize there is nothing in the world you can say.  You’re convinced the whole thing was rigged, these people are conspiring against you.

You should recognize this mechanism in you, it’s built into everyone.  But remember I mentioned before that there is no such thing as one group of people acting as a single spokesman for any Force.  You may be trying to do something you think is important and there you are up against a group of people who appear to have the sole purpose of thwarting you.  Not only do they appear to be the living epitome of Second force, they seem evil, reactionary, working at cross purposes to their own proclaimed intentions. But there is no person, there is no group of people that operate as a single spokesman, a single laborer for any one Force.  Yet, everyone is built, wired up electrically and chemically, to view other people in these circumstances as a singular force of opposition.

 Diagram # 30 illustration

Diagram # 30 illustration

Everyone is a part of a Grid that covers the planet’s surface like a kind of 4-D graph paper.  At each intersection of two lines a person resides.  Unnatural, willful expansion of your own nervous system loosens you from the ordinary tensile forces of the Grid, lessens your dependence on the familiar.

A unique preparation is needed to weaken one’s bonds with the familiar.  When it happens in ordinary life people feel like they’re going mad, they do get mad.  Those who pursue This Thing are pushing toward another level of First force, trekking into the unknown.  A very particular courage and an unnatural strength are required for such a singular expedition.

A loosening from the Grid weakens the mechanical ties you have to others and to your past, it diminishes your fears and, for that matter, your mechanical enthusiasms.  As you slip out of old habits, interests you previously had sometimes lose their appeal.

If the very first comment I told you was that This Thing offered you the chance to be free, you would have answered, that’s precisely what you were seeking.  If I asked what kind of freedom, you might have said, “Well, I want to be able to do this and that unhindered.  I don’t want judges and admissions boards to rule my fate and keep me from doing what I want.  I want freedom from all that.”

What if freedom is not the freedom to do any and everything you want, but the freedom from no longer wanting to do it.

And, that’s just a part of it.