‘Tis a glorious day here in Pincenez, Pakistan, birthplace of the reclusive inventor, Ban Ray who, after making a spectacle of himself over an armored pun detector he attempted to market, retreated to the nearby Beverly Mountains. He now leads tours that drive past homes where famous international terrorists have not been recently spotted. His daughter has joined us here at the hotel for the Sunday brunch, and her well known special hairstyle reminds us of course of that special something always on the menu of the few. And while she is grazing at the table buffet, let’s look through some of the stories already in our wire service file regarding that scrumptious matter. (You didn’t forget your glasses again did you?)
Let’s begin with this report from our correspondent in Paris:
In one reality, what we call staring, the locals call thinking.
In that same reality, what we call the inside of our eyelids, the locals call their world view.
Also in that reality, what we accept as being brain tics, they embrace as enlightenment.
We are citizens of the universe; we live both where we are, and also in that other reality, (and I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty well pissed about it).
Well here’s a story from our man in Tokyo:
A local researcher delivered this announcement at a conference here today: “I have discovered the one and only cure for all of man’s non-physical problems, and that is there IS no cure for these problems. The solution has been right there under our noses for all these thousands of years – yet no one ever realized it until now.”
What a totally exhilarating and obvious answer
to such an ancient and complex problem,
(not to mention the efficiency bonus)!