Body & Mind


Why does life make local religious leaders dress up funny?
That’s easy, so people won’t dare laugh at them.


Why do you mentally dress up like every day is Halloween?
Oh, I’m sorry – I thought that was a costume! (Oops!)




As soon as his mind came staggerin’ in, it said:
“I know, I know where you’ve been!?”




A viewer submits:

“I cannot agree with your insinuations regarding the nexus and correlation between man’s mind and his routine physical functions, for if this were so, we’d be wearing underwear on our heads.

Yours sincerely.”




Note to outlaw channel thugs:

If the connection between your body and your consciousness is as close as the one with your mind, then I must tell you that you’re not actually conscious.




“Hey Bert, where’s the tv guide? 

Whatever happened to roller derby anyway, since I banned it from my brain?” 

“Why just look around you, old chum – it is right where it belongs.” 

“No Bert, you mean it is right back where it has always been,”

And now, as we end our broadcast day, instead of the national anthem, we ask you to join us in singing:  “That’s Life.”




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